I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize