fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
