The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
