Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Boobs are out for the taking
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
