Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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