need another drink. this is the easiest way
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
