There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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