Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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