I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
