he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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