it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize