i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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