butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
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Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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