Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
