You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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