he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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