piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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