btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
