where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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