God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin