I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
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May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.