i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
