My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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