Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
