I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
