yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
