he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
