Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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