Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
