508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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