It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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