But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
