Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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