WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
