Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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