I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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