I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
