why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
