So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
