Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
