I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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