and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
