I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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