the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
handjob tips. give me some.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
