Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
