Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
