Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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