idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
