when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
