i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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