just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
