Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
