I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
