So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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