you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
