Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
