If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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