I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
