Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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