Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
