wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
