Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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