1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect