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• (209): View more from California

  HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

  (757): View more from Virginia

  your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We can get drunk and battle coyotes

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I keeping finding meatballs in random places

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