Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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