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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Moonshine marathon is never a good idea

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.

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• (408): View more from California

  Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.

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