I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The air was thick with penises
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
